This has been a huge struggle to decide to come to this day…
I had thought I would wait until she didn’t want to eat…
But really, when I thought about that, why would I want her to be so
sick that she could no longer enjoy what she had left – food…
Her mobility was very limited(due to anemia from CRF)
She was getting more fluids but now absorbing them faster –
the fluids were diluting her blood but she needed them to live
her breathing was heavy at times – especially after fluids…
I had thoughts of maybe she could hang on until her 14th birthday in January…
or her 4th year Ampuversary in October….
foolish thoughts…selfish thoughts…
what did that matter?…
Maggie deserved to go out with what remaining dignity she had…
I owed her that…
Last night, Gina had a conversation with a psychic (and animal communicator). I was surprised
Gina “spoke” to her as she’s not a true believer of that kind of ‘stuff’. The psychic asked Gina if she
had kids. “No, said Gina, only furry one’s”…then the psychic said she felt really weak and tired…
asked Gina if she had a big dog, like a Bernese Mtn. Dog…black and white dog…Gina said, “no, but my sister does”..
“I am putting her down tomorrow”. The psychic then said “GOOD!”…then apologized for it coming out like that..
She said “tell your sister, it’s time, the dog is ready…she is very weak and tired, she doesn’t care where, just that she’s ready”
I’ve had my second thoughts about putting Maggie down…she’d have a good day and I’d think I made the wrong decision..
but this was a true sign that it was the right decision..
When I told Maggie I was sorry,
she licked away my tears as if to say “it’s OK, I’m ready”…
Maggie got steak – cooked up just for her – she was a true carnivore – loved her meat…
I am thankful to my sister, Gina, for putting my girl to rest…
I didn’t want some strange vet doing it…Maggie loved & trusted Aunt Gina…
It has been a very long and emotional day…then to drive into the yard and no Maggie to come home to…
Empty. I feel very empty.
I know we made the right decision but wow, what a tough day…Maggie went very peacefully..laying in the sun
on her bed she inherited from Dilly after she passed on, enjoying her steak before she became sleepy..
Here’s to your life Maggie – what a ride we had…
Gina gave me this today..I have visions of Maggie running free with four legs again just as fast as she used around the yard – I called them her “greyhound laps”…
Maggie, I love you…
One last visit with Gem..
Taking a break – Wildlife Refuge, Limestone, Maine October 2012 – she walked her heart out and had a blast!
A video of a happy time one month after her amputation – looking so strong!
and this video makes me smile with her “agileness” and her so happy!
her agility career – a highlight to both of us…such GREAT times…
She earned the following titles in agility from 2001-2008:
and the run the following Spring that finished her NATCH-S
and she did some APDT Rally Obedience as a Tripawd earning:
RL1, RL2, RL3,RLVX2 and
APDT Awards Of Excellence-LV, L1, L2, L3
and she competed in Wag It Games as a Tripawd earning:
WAG2S Heart Dog, WAG2O Heart Dog, WAG1SNIFF Heart Dog
Maggie was the inspiration for the “Heart Dog Program” in Wag It Games!
And of course, it wasn’t just about competing – when I watch these, it
makes me really realize how sick and weak she was at the end…
picture taken in Belfast, Maine – one of our favorite spots…on top of Hedgehog Mountain, Portage, Maine – a much younger, four legged Mags
picture taken in Searsport, Maine
picture taken at my Dad’s camp along the Umcolcus stream – Maggie was hunting squirrels 🙂Maggie showing her agileness in the weave poles – September 2005 in Westfield, MAMaggie was a beautiful jumper!this photo taken August 2013Puppy time – look at my ears! aren’t I cute?snowshoeing Feb 2009Norm – her “Papa” May 2011 – ‘working for treats!’Denny Pond – first time in a kayak since being a tripawdNorm & Maggie – Denny Pondmy beautiful girl…
Tried to do a few little “normal” things with Maggie this summer – her Dog Ball training was never finished…
My girl being as strong as she could be with her continued weakness due to the kidney disease…
I will go on, I’ll find the strength, life measures quality, not its length. One long embrace before you leave, share one last look, before I grieve. There are others, that much is true, but they be they, and they aren’t you.
And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought, will remember well all you’ve taught.
Your place I’ll hold, you will be missed, the coat I stroked, the nose I kissed,. And as you journey to your final rest, take with you this…..I loved you best.
Wow…I have to say the education Maggie has taught me with first cancer and now
kidney disease is mind boggling to me.
Just a few things to blog about today….
A month or so ago, Maggie refused her food(again) – I had added a supplement in hopes
to help her gurgly stomach. I have read that kidney disease dogs have stomach issues,
which she is no exception, often having a very noisy stomach and also having episodes
of high respirations during these times of gurgly stomach. But after refusing her food, I
had to switch her food because even with NO powdered supplements in it, she was still
hesitant to eat it. So, I have yet to add back in her kidney support powders(Epakitin
and Renal Advanced) for fear of her not wanting to eat again. I have managed to get
back into the food eggshell powder as read that has no taste. Then, this week I decided
to add in Wholistic Pet Digest All powder after listening to her stomach gurgle just
WAY too much. That and some loose stools. The powder is very powerful in that I
only need to add 1/4 tsp. per cup, so figured I could add that with no issues of her not
wanting to eat her food. All’s well..she’s still eating and in fact, her stools have made
a complete turn around and the very next morning, was 100%. I am also listening to
a less gurgly stomach and I have also noticed since starting this she seems RAVENOUS
even more than normal(due to Pred). Well, I just read this on a www.thrivingpets.com
regarding digestive enzymes/probiotics for kidney dogs:
“Pets with kidney disease may have digestive problems. Digestive enzymes help pets digest their food more easily. Breaking down nutrients is thought to help decrease the workload on the kidneys. Probiotics are designed to help with digestion and may be beneficial as an appetite stimulant.”
Well, well….isn’t that intesting! Appetite stimulant….hmmm….!!! New one to me
and it sure seems like Maggie is proving that to be true with her RAVENOUS way
fluids from them so I wouldn’t have to get at the vet’s office…and low and behold,
look what they say about IV fluid bags:
“Lactated Ringers comes in 2 different bags- the old style is PVC (Poly-vinyl Chloride) and contains a chemical, plastic softener called DEHP. DEHP has been linked to cancer and the FDA requires a written disclosure on products containing DEHP. The new style of fluid bags are DEHP-Free, Hospira’s brand name for these bags is VisIV.”
So, I go look at my fluid bags I got from the vet(where I’ve been getting fluids since
April)….and guess what, my fluids have the DEHP in them!! Maybe it doesn’t matter
in the least, given the fact Maggie already has cancer but it’s BEYOND ME as to why
they even make the fluid bags with it?? Think of all the hospitals that I’m SURE use
that type(cheaper than the other without it). WTH!??!?! Ok, so had to vent for a minute..
So, I ordered 24 bags of the DEHP FREE fluids for Maggie. Which cost me .60 cents
LESS per bag AND free shipping vs. getting at the vet’s office(and having to drive 1 hour
one way to go get them).
Sooo…..to anyone else dealing with kidney disease ( or any other of the diseases they
carry meds for) I highly suggest www.thrivingpets.com ! They’ve given me an education
and have good prices.
So, just a few words about Maggie’s health as it stands right now. She seems to be
‘holding her own’ still. Weak and doesn’t do much for exercise – I try to give her a little
bit but it’s like a double edged sword – she’s so weak from her disease but the laying
around and doing nothing just makes her muscles all that more weak. Have upped
the daily fluids amount some in an effort to help with that weakness but I don’t see
much change yet. Her appetite is awesome at present – she’s eating Stella and Chewy’s
raw and Essex Cottage Farms Kidney diet mix cooked up with boneless meat/squash/
egg/oil added. She LOOOOOVES that at the present as that is the most recent addition.
Gina has switched her homeopathic remedy to Merc. Sol 30C, 2 times a day and that
seems to be helping Maggie as well.
Here’s a little video I took of her on Sunday…still showing some “spark” 🙂
Just a quick update on Maggie as my sister, Gina, came to see her yesterday. I think
it’s been over a month since she saw her. She said she was better than what she
thought she would be in the “mental” department and “with it”. Physically, she is
weaker but if she didn’t know she had CRF, she would just figure it was typical
old dog stuff.
Maggie had a “big” afternoon(for her!). She hung outside with us, was amongst us
trying to get treats from me, while we were playing on the Wag It Games obstacles
with the other two dogs. I was in shock! She really hasn’t done that in eons – usually
she just lays by the side and just watches us now. Then, we did a little Sniff It session
with food search in the tents. Maggie used to be, as her blog name says, AGILE. Well,
not so much anymore…she wrecked the course! She didn’t hop in and out of the tents
with ease as she used to.. It was funny (but not really) but she had fun just the same!
Gimme’ food she says! 🙂
Um yeah, I couldn’t get thru the tent window like I used to! So just flopped down instead 🙂Ok, so Aunt Gina says I wrecked the course! Upside down tent and I’m in a partially torn down tent – Oops!
“Then, the highlight of the afternoon! A black dog came into MY yard and I finally
witnessed it! Mom tells me it’s happened two other times but I’ve been holed up in the
garage and my hearing isn’t too good, so I’ve missed all the action! But not this time!
Good thing Aunt Gina grabbed me by my waist ’cause I was gonna “get em’! Yep!
I STILL got it in me to raise holy ole’ terror when a strange dog enters MY yard!”
Then later, I had Gina do Maggie’s fluids – she’s so good and fast with those needles!
Maggie, once again, never cringed or knew Gina put the needle into her! Unfortunately,
I’m not that good and Maggie kinda ducks her head every time I poke her 🙁 Gina
said don’t make a ‘deal’ of it – as in I set Maggie up in a certain spot each time etc.
Maggie didn’t even realize what Gina was doing… but maybe she would eventually, if
she did it more? So Maggie will just have to keep putting up with me!
It was nice to see Maggie engaging in the afternoon with us!! The “old Maggie”
reappeared for a while! She seems no worse for wear this morning….so that’s a good
thing! 🙂
‘Til next time, Maggie keeps hoppin'(and sometimes floppin’)
